Conan’s Corner

April has been very eventful. Mr Dave set off on his stroll with Mrs Dave and they must be around halfway through I think at the moment. I also had a visit from one of my best friends from Engerland, Miss Lesley. She bought treats.

Also, somebody applied to adopt me! Everybody was amazed, myself included. I appreciated the thought of the kind lady of course but it had to be explained that I would hate everything about it, including her. Nothing personal, naturally, but I like where I am ! King of all I survey! Patriarch and Cushion Sharer Extraordinaire!

The house band have had one practice session – unfortunately we had to fire Gordi as now Mark has sorted his appearance out and no longer looks like a scruffy 70s throwback, Gordi now looks nothing like him so we have enrolled Marmite for a trial. Frankly I don’t have much confidence in him so have got Patxi on standby just in case. Honestly, why is nothing simple in my life?

I had another friend request from a lady with big boobs. I would have thought the clue was in my name, unless she has serious ulterior (or dodgy) motives. We had to decline and then block for my own safety. I will have to have security in future like the Kings (Philippe and Charles).

I have heard talk on the grapevine that I might have to go to the v.e.t at some point. Naturally I will try and avoid at all costs as they just stick things in me – ouch! Ok, I have lost some weight which is often a cause for concern but I quite like my new slimline physique. I am getting two meals a day at the moment to see if that helps – it’s great! Sometimes my mouth doesn’t feel right so maybe further investigation is required – naturally I will try and claw as many people as possible on the day.

Until next time lovely people – may the paws with with you – Conan x